Happy 2012 everybody!
First off, so many apologies for falling off the "posting every day" train a few months back. One of my resolutions for 2012 is to get back on board with posting a drawing every day.
2011 has definitely been a mixed bag for me.
- Moving to San Francisco after getting offered a fantastic job working at Crowdstar working as an animator on social games (a steady job! With benefits! OMG!)
- Getting to travel to Beijing, China, with my husband Damon
- Getting to (finally) work on a comic book together with Damon and exhibiting for the first time together at both Emerald City Comic Con and APE (Alternative Press Expo)
- Getting to oversee and produce Girls Drawin Girls Vol IV (the largest, and I think, best book to date from the group!)
- Getting to be a part of so many wonderful art shows all around the world, including shows in Paris and Mexico City!
- Most of all, having the love, support and benefit of my amazing family and all my wonderful friends.
I was very torn on if I should post cons. First off, I like to think that I want to stay positive, and focus on the pro aspects of the year. I also sometimes feel that I need to keep my personal self separate from my "artist" self, the self that I show to the public. However, I feel compelled to at least acknowledge some of the battles and challenges that I have encountered the past year.
- Moving to San Francisco. I know, I listed this as a pro, and it is, but the con part of it has been having to move away from Los Angeles. I still get really homesick and miss all my friends and the life I had in Los Angeles. And it's ok, because it's a natural part of moving, but I do have to admit, it's been tough at times.
- Fighting with depression. It's been a bit of a rough year for me, personally. I am so hesitant to admit this here, on my blog, but I think it's something a lot of us artists struggle with; when your personal artwork can be so closely tied to your commercial success, and all the self-doubt and demons that you fight with in your head. I have to admit, it's been a large reason of why I haven't been posting here that often, and why I feel my art has been harder to create than usual. Something that has really hit home to me personally has been the suicide of a friend and colleague of mine, Ricky Garduno. His death was the first one of somebody who was around my age, working in my profession (flash animation), and somebody who was so clearly incredibly talented. It has been very hard for me (and many of my friends who knew him) to come to grips with his death. I've realized that immense talent doesn't protect you from self-doubt and depression, and even if you're surrounded by people who love you, how easy it can be to push them away. Ricky clearly struggled with his own demons, and it's something I can relate to, because we all struggle with our demons in different ways. It's just so sad that his struggle ended the way it did.
- Ending my relationship with Girls Drawin Girls. It was a huge and painful decision to leave that organization, because of the amazing artists and opportunities it offered. I was so proud of the work I've done with the group and the friends I've met and made, but in the end, I felt bullied, overwhelmed and under appreciated. What made me even more sad was realizing that the group would never reach it's full potential, and that it was time for me to move on and concentrate on fulfilling my own full potential.
Much love to you all in 2012!